Appearances simply count because they are the first source of information we have about a person, especially if we do not know them! The others judge us on our physical, and we do the same, automatically, in the first moments of a meeting … Just because we seek to identify the other from the few clues we have.
Sometimes our physics-based assumptions fade, when we get to know the person … but sometimes not! It may happen that the impression that what we had thought to detect in the first moments (for example, “she is snobbish”, for a very primed person) is confirmed, or on the contrary, it changes, depending on the behavior frequently adopted by the person (according to whether it is haughty or warm with others, I keep my a priori or I come back on it).
In any case, Appearance seems to me useful to keep in mind that we cannot control what others think of us! Whatever our physics, others will think what they want from us (for good or bad!) And we cannot help it … It’s very unpleasant to be judged negatively by others, I tell you willingly grant: it is normal that we do not want that! But sometimes, we spend too much energy not wanting to run this risk, while it is inevitable (even if we are a beauty canon, there will always be someone to find himself “too much” or “not enough” ” this or that).
This concern (NOT to be judged negatively by others) makes us enter a logic of constrained beauty: we move away from the pleasure of making ourselves beautiful / beautiful, for ourselves, according to our tastes and preferences, to try to please others at all costs … To accept oneself and reconnect with a beauty-pleasure, freely chosen, it can help us to keep in mind that others will sometimes judge us positively, and sometimes, alas! , negatively.